Deciding to have an adults-only wedding is entirely personal, and there are many reasons couples choose this route. Whether it’s to create a more elegant atmosphere, work within budget constraints, or simply because they envision their day as a child-free celebration. However, communicating this to guests can sometimes feel tricky.
If you’re wondering how to let your loved ones know (without offending anyone), here are some thoughtful and tactful ways to approach the conversation.
Be Clear from the Start
The best way to avoid confusion is to make your preference known early. Including it on your wedding invitations and website helps set expectations from the beginning.
- Invitation Wording Example:
“We love your little ones, but we have chosen to make our special day an adults-only celebration. We appreciate your understanding and can’t wait to celebrate with you!” - Wedding Website: Your website is a great place to elaborate if needed. A short, kind explanation such as “To allow all our guests to relax and enjoy the evening, we kindly request that our wedding be an adults-only event” sets the tone while keeping things polite.
Spread the Word Personally
While your invitation and website should state your preference, some guests (especially close family or friends with kids) might still ask about it.
- Have a Kind but Firm Response: If a guest inquires, respond with warmth and understanding:
“We absolutely adore your little ones, but for our big day, we’ve chosen to keep it an adults-only event. We hope you understand and can still celebrate with us!” - Ask Family for Support: If you anticipate any concerns, enlist your parents or wedding party to help spread the word. Sometimes, hearing it from multiple sources helps reinforce the message.
Address Plus-One and Family Expectations
Some guests might assume their children are included especially if they’ve attended other weddings where kids were welcome.
- Be Specific on the Invitation Envelope: Address invitations correctly to indicate who is invited (e.g., “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” instead of “The Smith Family”).
- Reception Seating Plan: If a guest RSVPs for their children despite the adults-only request, follow up with a polite but firm reminder.
If you’re making an exception for immediate family (like nieces and nephews), be consistent in explaining this to avoid confusion or hurt feelings.
Handle Pushback Gracefully
Despite your best efforts, some guests may be disappointed or try to negotiate. Stay calm and stick to your decision.
- Acknowledging Their Feelings: If a guest expresses difficulty finding childcare, show empathy while maintaining your boundary:
“We completely understand it’s never easy to arrange! While we would love for you to be there, we totally understand if it’s not possible.” - Avoid Making Exceptions: If you say yes to one guest’s request, others may expect the same, leading to difficult conversations.
Final Thoughts
Having an adults-only wedding is a personal choice, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. By setting clear expectations, communicating with kindness, and standing firm in your decision, you can ensure your guests respect your wishes while keeping relationships intact.
At the end of the day, your wedding is about celebrating your love in the way that feels best to you. Stay true to your vision, and your guests will appreciate the honesty! Need some help? Contact us here.
